And now for Spring........

which is Rain rain and more rain. And my garden is loving it. Daffodils, crocus, hyacinths, comfrey and dandelions are all beginning to show their beauty. Lots of colors and I love that!!! My garden has become a metaphor for life for me. It is bountiful, then grounded and stationary for a bit, then ready to give of it's harvest, then a dying back. All of these cycles require a bit of care, or everything goes to waste.....and the abundant beauty is lost..or is it. If let to go to mayhem.........it will eventually die back, freeze to the ground and lay in a pile and begin the cycle again. I find, however, with just a bit of attention, tending to my garden makes it ever more splendid, ever more bountiful, ever more lovely and abundant.

Having gone through a very extreme, for me, bronchial illness recently.......it has reminded me that I am like my garden. And though I can go on and on without care or consideration for myself........just a tiny bit of attention makes me stronger, healthier and ever more lovely and prosperous!!!

Something I shall not soon forget..........

Snow...

Snow snow and more snow. The oldtimers are saying this is like the winters of old. Definitely makes one want to snuggle by a fire with a cup of tea and a good book or movie or friend. Currently my partner and I are separated by this beautiful white stuff.....he is snowed in at the cabin, I'm snowed out at the Singlewide. One of us has got to get a four wheel drive ASAP. And learn not to drive down roads that have not been plowed, and to stay away from the edge (ditch). I've been stuck twice and spun out on ice and just basically scared the beejeesus out of myself. I'm from Southern California.......I never touched snow until I was 17. I would see it in the mountains of the BigBear and San Bernadino mountains....when the smog parted....but it was a distant "thing" that I never dealt with. When I went skiing with my boyfriend who loved snow....I hurt my ankle on the bunny slope and that was it for me. I guess I don't really like being on skinny things going fast downhill. I love to water ski.....the landing is so much softer, mostly. And, I've gotten in to a bit of sledding which is fun and the "stopping" is so much easier then on skis, for me. I am learning to go with the flow....but do hope I get to go home tomorrow.

Saturday and Sunday....I will be at the Knoxville EarthFare's talking about women's health and herbal products. Turkey Creek on Saturday and Bearden on Sunday. Should ole man winter allow it......

2011 Paying it Forward

Today I was introduced to or rather reminded about a concept of Paying It Forward. Five is one of my favorite numbers so I was excited to hear of this exercise..... I promise to give away 5 things made by me to 5 people who promise to do the same. As you can imagine....the immense potential of this is incredible. So......email me your address.....the first 5 of you I hear from will receive a gift from me...that I have created myself.

moonmaidbotanicals@yahoo.com

I posted this earlier today on Facebook....and have had five respondents. And I have responded one of them so have 5 more to gift. And now, I will have 5 more and potentially more. As you can see.....I am exremely excited about the concept of giving in this way. Isn't it wonderful to spread our wonderful selves out into the world......with only the expectation that our gift will create 5 times 5 times 5 and on and on and on. Perhaps this will go viral......and won't that be delightful!!!

Going home.....

I have had a very wonderful time with family. Though I have missed my mountain home, and am ever so glad to be headed in that general direction tomorrow, I will miss my "family" when I am in Tennessee. I love my three nephews beyond measure...they have developed into such great human beings, and of course, I will miss my sisters. I miss everyone of course, my Mom, my brother in law, my older neices and nephews and their kids.....but there is something about sisters that is very special. My sisters are twins and I find the interaction between them interesting.....and very special. They are identical twins and though they certainly look different now........they are one person in two bodies a lot of the time. They finish each others sentences, they say the same things, they buy the same stuff....maybe this use to happen more then it does now......but it does happen. And sometimes.......we, all the three of us.....know what the other one is thinking, talk at the same time.....and I note that some folks just shrug. They have no idea what we are all talking and giggling about. Today.....one's husband was on my mind....he walked through the door unexpectedly........and they both screamed. You had to be there.....but it is a memory that will make me laugh for a long while.........just thinking of it now....I get a smile on my face. I write this post on a computer that is not mine....so I do not have access to my photos......in a few days.....I'll post some photos of "my family." It is special. My recent loss, of a good friend who was "like family" makes me want to hold onto, embrace, and squeeze tight those who are closest to me. And, it is my sisters....and the gifts they have given me. I do have four lovely nieces, a fantastic brother and sister in law....but again, sisters.....are just something else!!!!!

Christmas Day

It was a good day......I talked to a number of people....we laughed and cried and remembered our friend. We got a bit mad too......suicide is so selfish.....really, when you think about it. What could I have done, what could I have said to have made this dear man happier......helped him not to feel so desperate. If only I would have called that morning instead of waiting until this morning. And then of course, one must accept that we all have our own paths and Ken did what he felt he had to do. I will miss him for a very long time. He and I were working on a big project together....still in the planning stages of printing paperwork, and making reports and getting the details together for a fundraiser. I don't know about any of this....Ken knew about all of it and was going to teach me. Not to mention he was a master at raising and managing cash, the flow etc............ahhhhhhhh geez. I will really miss him, I cannot replace him, I will just have to trust the Universe to lead me down the road into the next big mystery...........

The Spirit of Christmas

What is that.....what does it mean? Those of you who follow this blog, know that I have struggled with the energy of "getting into it." I did, though, get to Florida, have been around family and most specifically a bunch of great kids. My sister's planned a wonderful Christmas Eve gathering. It was all looking good..........

My sister Kim, unfortunatly, had a miserable migraine, one which put her to bed. I have never seen my sister in such pain, and it was a terrible feeling not to be able to "do anything" for her. I am always trying to "fix" everything, and this time I could not.

Still, we carried on, the kids opened the pajamas they know they will get from Grandma/Nana and loved them......smiles on faces. Then we all packed up so the house could be quiet for the miserable migraine. I don't know if you have ever had one, but it is a feeling I cannot quite explain, you cannot move, think, or even sleep. A most terrible pain.....until it passes.

Then, on the way home, I recieved a call that will forever change my life. One of my friends, so despondent, so unable to deal with the "holiday spirit" took his life. I am empty, void of feeling at this moment. Only thoughts, if only I had called this afternoon when he passed through my mind......we had plans and I wanted to remind him of them. I knew he was fragile, and thought I would wait until Christmas day....to make sure he knew he was loved. And now, it is too late.
Do you hear me Ken. ARe you floating around me.....do you know how much you meant to me?
Do you understand that though I am sad I am also angry that you could be so selfish. You mean so much, we had so much to do, you were such a special person......one I will never be able to replace in my life. You gave me more than I had ever expressed to you.....you were one of my best friends, I had grown to love our conversations and looked forward to so much more. I will miss you so very very much........when I pass through this void.....I hope that I will find a way to carry on the good that you had given to our tiny community in the mountains.

I admire, respect and love you Ken Porterfield. I trust in death, you will find peace. Meanwhile, I will shed a tear and miss you for a very long while................